The Nature of Forgiveness
Most psychologists recommend mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us and moving on from the past, instead of allowing bitterness and anger toward others to eat away at us. Although burying the hatchet usually brings peace to the soul, there may be some exceptions to that advice, such as a case of sexual abuse. Sometimes a victim becomes more empowered when given permission to not forgive.
Equally, and perhaps more important, is learning to acknowledge your missteps and forgive yourself.self -forgiveness is often the first step toward a more loving and positive relationship with yourself, and therefore with others.
Forgiveness, needless to say, is the greatest of virtues that few can actually master. Most of us find it hard to pardon others who have wronged or hurt us, unintentionally or deliberately. However, should we overcome our grudges, resentment and anger and actually condone someone, we are not only elevating ourselves as human beings but ensuring a positive impact on our lives. The following are the reasons why we should learn to forgive and why it’s important.
You have to be Free to be Actually Happy
Research shows that a forgiving person is always more happy and productive, accomplishing goals faster as he is constantly at peace with himself. When you forgive, you are actually being more true, respectful and kind to yourself Likewise, when you humbly atone for your transgressions against someone else, you give yourself the true value and esteem you deserve.
Forgiveness has its Own Powers
When you don’t pardon others, no matter what wrong they have done to you, you not only rob yourself of your powers to eliminate the negativity of your character but you also strip yourself of your basic dignity. Your anger, resentment and indignation remain trapped inside you and you suffer mentally as your feeling of helplessness, being stuck and frustration increase by leaps and bounds. These may also lead to physical and/or emotional harm and prevent you from enjoying your accomplishments or relationships with others.
Pardon & Be Blessed
On the flip side, when you condone other’s mistakes, you are freed of your inner demons, your emotional scars from the past heal faster and you feel released from all the internal negativities that were hitherto disturbing you. You also have a feeling of lightness, goodwill and compassion that ennobles, empowers and enlivens you. In other words, you are left more refreshed, rewarded and renewed.
Face the fact objectively that you have to pardon the other person, no matter what. As long as you don’t accept this, you will be stuck in a bitter and unforgiving quicksand that will never allow you to move yourself out of this miserable rut and live an enriching and fulfilling life.
Even if the other person has been genuinely offensive, thus justifying your anger, eliminate it along with all the bitterness and resentment at any cost.
Recollect the Offense
In your attempt to forgive someone, try and recall all the harm the latter has done to you. Write it all down and then take a solemn vow to condone all his vile acts freely and fully. Read it aloud a couple of times and then burn the paper with a matchstick. This experiment often proves successful in letting bygones be bygones.
Grant Benefit of Doubt
It may so happen that people always don’t hurt or cause damage intentionally. If this be the case, then try to be more compassionate, kind and empathetic when judging the case. Looking at such transgressors with a little understanding helps releasing yourself.
Imagine the Feeling of Forgiveness
Now visualize that you are breaking free after forgiving your tormentor. Pray to be endowed with the gift of forgiveness and keep repeating your affirmations in your mind. Keep saying to yourself, “I freely and fully forgive (name of the person) and am now free. Peace, harmony and goodwill shall reign always between us.” It works!
Valuing the Experience
Realize that the power to pardon others is as important as eating a proper diet and exercising. So eliminating animosity, acrimony and antagonism can actually transform your life and take it to a higher pedestal.
Remember when you actually embrace forgiveness, you are simultaneously achieving a joyous and merciful mindset. The power to condone or pardon can’t be easily obtained but once you have mastered it, you will inevitably free up more space in your mind and heart to blow the cobwebs away and let the sunshine in.