Like any other skill, managing anger requires practice. Try following approaches
Important general tips –
1. When you are angry, never react immediately, give some time to yourself. First of all get away for a while from the place/room, take deep breath, come back and put your views.
2. Never write email/text the other person immediately when you are angry, it spoils relationship
3. User relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, listening music or thought of a peaceful place or sound.
4. Find a physical outlet for your anger like exercise or housework
5. Set a limit to anger and then let it go.
6. User positive talks – “I am angry but I will get over my job”
7. Know your limits, seek counselling if anger remains big problem for you.
If you are anger on person
1. Make a clear statement .. I get anger because .. ( be specific)
2. Visualize yourself with that person in a room and say what is in your mind in loud voice
3. Later on, find peaceful time to talk with that person, tell him/her your views, maintain eye contact and calm voice.
4. Put yourself in other person’s shoes and allow yourself to be “wrong” sometimes.
5. In such talks, avoid blaming, attacking or bringing up other grievances.
6. User “I” Statements, don’t use “You Never…”.
7. Try to sort out situation with that person instead of thinking about it for a long time, it gives emotional baggage
8. Another approach is write a letter to the person you are angry on, keep it with you , review it few days later, you may decide of taking other approach. This will let emotions out as well as it will not harm other person directly.
If you are angry with some situation
1. Think can you change the situation? If yes, try so , if not, work towards acceptance. Remember you cant control others behavior, but you can control how you react.